Almost done...is that good or bad?

It's hard for me to believe that my time here in Africa is almost up. I remember those first few days when I couldn't imagine staying a whole year...and now I've even extended my stay by a month, finding it hard to leave. If only Africa was a little closer and I knew I could visit here a couple weeks every year, I wouldn't find leaving here as hard. But whether or not I will ever return here is a big question that only God knows the answer to. So as I leave this place I carry many memories with me:

Things I will miss and remember with fondness:
Eating $.30 meals at roadside "restaurants". Delicious Pat and Sauce. Mangos, papaya, mangoes, bananas, mangoes, pineapples, mangoes, oranges. (Can you tell I love mangoes??). Fried bread balls. Fufu (pounded yams)... one of my favorites! 25 cent frozen yogurt-like yummy stuff. Most everything being cheap. Going to the market and greeting my tomato lady, my peanut oil lady, my bread lady, my onion lady... ok, ok, I know you get the picture. Never having to wear to a jacket. Being able to wear sandals, especially flip-flops, everyday. Riding the motorbike taxis with the wind blowing in my hair. Driving a motorcyle!! (Yes, I learned how to drive a motorcycle a few weeks ago, a wish I was hoping would be fulfilled before I left. In just a couple hours I had mastered the basics and could come to a stop or go through little ditches without the engine dying. Last week I had the chance to drive 8 km between two villages on a road with bumps and sand... and I succeeded. Oh, the thrill!! :)). Popping popcorn over an open fire and watching the excitement of the kids. Dancing in church. Showers, or more correctly bucket baths, by starlight (when I'm in Ountivou). People stopping by to visit. Little Kaka following me around everywhere, watching my every move, "working" (scribbling on paper) while I work. My "grandmother" worrying when I come home too late, asking me the next morning where I was. People's amazement in seeing their pictures on the digital camera (or better yet on the TV screen!) Going to villages and observing community development in action. Reading Bible stories in Aja with a barber who's never been to school but can now read. "Coaching" 30 children who have never even seen a basketball. The little kids at Gohomey calling out happily "Madame, madame" when I arrive. Teaching students to read their own language and then listening to them read a Bible passage in church. A Fon (another people group with an Aja-related language) woman, who had lost both her twin babies to AIDS, learning to read Aja because that's all I know and witnessing her joy when she received a Fon Bible. The giving and receiving of gifts in Ountivou during my month stay. Having the means to help those who are truly struggling to meet basic needs. Being able to be a middleman for your generosity... and the many blessings that were spoken over me because of you. Life seeming less complicated (or at least my year here being less complicated than I make my life in the States). Time...or rather the non-issue of time of the people around me. The importance and priority placed on people. My dear friend Koudjo.

Things I will not miss:
Using a latrine (or the bush when I'm in Ountivou). Cooking with a little kerosene stove. Washing dishes on a bucket on the floor. Not having a refrigerator. Lack of fresh vegetables...here it's tomatoes, onions, tomatoes, onions, green leafy vegetables. Exotic disease that aren't quite so exotic when you have them: typhoid fever, malaria, malaria, malaria, malaria, parasites and worms, Montezuma's Revenge. Mosquitoes. Mice. Roaches. Unknow insects of the flying and creeping type. Being squished into taxis with 8 other people and goats and chickens, too. Goats and their carrying on at night (although I got used to it pretty quickly). Loud music at night, especially during the dry season when people have time to have ceremonies. The Yovo Yovo chant I hear many times a day. Being treated like a celebrity just because of my skin color. People asking for money. Not being able to help everyone. Not knowing who to completely trust. Not being able to communicate. Not understanding everything that's going on. Not being able to express myself adequately. Difficulty of finding time to myself. Not feeling like I belong... being a stranger and not being able to hide it. Not being able to pick up a phone to call you. Not seeing your babies, those of you who have them, grow up this last year. Not seeing you.

I am sure that there many more things I'm forgetting to put on the lists, especially many more fond memories that I want to remember for many years to come. But for now, that list will have to suffice. As you can see, I have many many fond memories that I will carry with me when I leave this place. However, I want this year to be more than just an accumulation of exciting experiences and interesting stories. I want this year to affect the way I live the rest of my life, to make me look at life through slightly different lenses. When my year here is completely over and I've left African soil, I'll hopefully reflect a little more on what I learned and gained from this year, whether my goals and purposes were met, what I think I might have learned and how maybe I've changed. My initial thought and feeling is that I really haven't changed that much, that I'm really the same as before I left. I'm hoping, however, that with a little reflection and probing, I'll find that some changes have taken place in me. But I'll save those musing for after I leave... since I've already started to revert back into my old mindset of "There just isn't enough time and there's too much to be done." So for now, I'll just say that I am so incredibly thankful to God for giving me this year here in Africa, for the experiences, for the friendships, for many things I've gained.

Here's the little run-down of what's left for me here (which is pretty close to the tentative schedule I wrote about in the last blog entry):
Today until Dec. 19: Start packing up, getting things done, hanging out with people in Benin
Dec. 19- Dec. 31: Basketball camp in Ountivou, Togo, celebrating Christmas
Dec. 31- Jan. 5: Traveling around Togo and Benin, hopefully going to Penjari Game Park in the north of Benin
Jan. 6-9: Final packing, saying good-byes and giving away my things to people in Benin (I'm planning a good-bye/Christmas/New Years party for about 40 people who live around me. They're upset I'm celebrating the holidays in Togo instead of with them).
Jan. 10-11: Go to Cotonou, depart shortly after midnight (which is really already the 12th.
Jan 12-27: Spend time with my parents in Romania
Jan. 28: Fly to the good ol' US of A

I want to thank you for faithfully reading my blogs, staying in touch, and praying for me this past year (thank you for whichever one of those you fit into, although some of you fit into all three categories). It is because of your love for me and your support in my life that I was even able to come here. I appreciate and cherish each one of you. And now, how timely, they just cut the electricity (as frequently happens here... something I won't miss :)). Since this computer battery has major problems it will want to shut down in a few minutes so I better stop.

I love you all and am excited to see (or at least talk to on the phone) each one of you very soon.

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year!! (Sorry no cards this year :)). (And I'll have to tell you about Christmas here next time, which is probably better anyway; that way I can write from personal experience rather than just what people say about it).

With much love,
Your Yovo